She was dead.
She was really dead this time, it wasn’t a ploy for her to be used as a secret weapon yet again. Her heart was no longer beating and she had tragically died in the boiler room of her high school like a horrible actress in a stupid horror movie. To add even more stress, she couldn’t bring herself to tell everyone. It was an illusion that they all had made it to graduation day despite the multiple werewolf bites, sacrifices, and other supernatural drama;she couldn’t ruin that for anyone. So no one besides Jeremy knows about it.
And she can’t do a thing about it but stare at her body wishing that things had gone a little different.
She just stares at her body for hours , lost and weirdly memorized that she can actually see her feel her dead body. And that’s when the ‘what if’s’ had started to come out. ‘What if she had never met Shane?’ ‘What if she never tried to stop Elena from becoming a vampire?’ ‘Would any of this would’ve happen?’
Her mind drifted and she immediately went to the furthest place she had wanted …what if she had actually let Kol talk her into dropping the veil completely? At this point, she wished that she would have listened to him. But Bonnie Bennett would never know what would’ve happened. She’s dead and stuck on The Other Side with no one.
A few months have passed since graduation and with Jeremy unable to finally keep up the ruse any longer, everyone had figured out that she was dead. Watching everyone sob and cry and pretend that they all weren’t having the best summer of their lives while her body had been moved to god knows where, made her want to scream.
But she had to be on her best behavior. She wasn’t going to scream or yell expletives to Damon and Elena who were too busy ripping each other’s clothes off, Jeremy deciding that this would be the one time he would be listening to her for once and Matt galavanting all over Europe with Rebekah.
She would pretend to cry and tell Jeremy to tell everyone that she had loved them and she wouldn’t change her decision for the world.
But if she could…God, if she could, she knows that she would.
More time had passed on and Jeremy started to show interest in April Young. Less time had been spent between the two of them talking and pretending to god each other’s hands. It turned into quick ‘hi’s’ and simple good nights with his back turned away from her.
April and Jeremy’s relationship had changed and Bonnie saw it all. Their study dates turned into actual dates and he stopped talking to her. At that point Bonnie couldn’t look anymore. Her heart felt like it had been shattered, completely obliterated by her own selfishness to bring back someone who possibly never cared for her as much she did for him.
That’s when she hears him.
"It hurts doesn’t it, darling?"
She turns around and sees Kol. His smirk placed upon his lips and his eyes lit with the satisfaction that he wanted.
Pushing off of the tree he had been leaning against and continues to speak, “It hurts seeing the people that had supposedly loved you move on with their lives. Knowing that you just became a statistic, a body count…collateral damage,” he said.
She wasn’t in the mood for his tongue-in-cheek behavior. “Go away Kol. I’m not in the mood. Not now. Not ever.”
"Darling, I think you misunderstood me. You see, I’ve gotten used to being here by myself and I happen to stumble upon the Bennett witch crying over Baby Gilbert," Kol’s expression turning sincere. "I just wanted to tell you that he wasn’t worth it. We both lost so much because of them and I just wanted to tell you that we shouldn’t have been the collateral damage."
He leaves without another word and she wonders if this is how things were supposed to end.